Pregnancy: 34 Weeks and Bed Rest

Today we hit the marker my doctor didn't think we would make -- 34 weeks pregnant. When the GH (gestational hypertension) started almost 5 weeks ago she was highly skeptical that I'd make it to this point. The earlier in pregnancy that GH strikes, the faster it usually develops. We got about 3 really good weeks where I maintained at an almost normal blood pressure, then in the last 1.5 weeks it's started creeping up again so I was ordered to official bed rest. Bummer. But it really makes a big enough difference that we are hopeful we can keep Hannah incubating a while longer. My blood pressure measures about 155/100 when I'm sitting or standing, but if I lay down on my side or recline it drops to about 130/90 or less. So as of last Tuesday I am off work and off my feet until the little lady makes her debut. Thank goodness for Netflix and HBO!!

At the doctor this week we discussed our long term goals and decided that if anything changes in my symptoms (blood pressure increases, won't stay below 160/110 for any period of time, lessened fetal movement, protein in urine, headache, seeing spots, etc) we would induce immediately. Because we are past the major danger zone of preemie-hood there is much less risk in her coming now. If my situation worsens she would benefit more from being delivered rather than living in hostile conditions inside me. If nothing changes we will induce when I hit 37 weeks which would be Sept 24, give or take a day, depending on the doctor's schedule. We will set an official date this Friday. So as of now we know that Miss Hannah will be joining us on the outside within 3 short weeks. Holy cow. Didn't I just find out I was pregnant?!? Cue mini freak out.

Of course we are extremely excited, but faced with the reality of such little time it's a little surreal. This pregnancy has gone by really quickly. Especially since we will have 3 less weeks to prepare than most people. But we are so grateful we have made it to this point when many thought we wouldn't. The difference in her growth and development between now and when GH started at 29 weeks is huge. If born at 34 weeks she would be looking at a NICU stay of about 2 weeks instead of 2 months. We are hoping I can go to 37 weeks and almost assuredly be able to bring her home immediately, but we will roll with whatever happens. 2 weeks is a manageable amount of time.

How far along: 34 weeks!

Symptoms:  I walk really slowly these days. Partially because my body just doesn't move fast, partially because I'm trying to take it easy. It's close to being considered a waddle. I have very little room left in my body for my own organs so I get full very fast and never quite have a good deep breath. I can also feel my heart beat, almost like it's racing. The doctor assured me this is normal and due to cramped space and not high blood pressure. I get heartburn pretty easily, but a few tums usually does the trick.

Sleep: It takes a long time to fall asleep. I've started taking a half dose of benadryl the last few nights to help knock me out. Restless leg syndrome is about the most annoying thing ever. I have to pee every 1.5-2 hours, and getting in and out of bed and comfortable is no easy task. Rolling over is like an inchworm movement. Little by little. I never bought a pregnancy pillow so I use multiple regular pillows. Sadly this pushes Andrew out of bed most nights. He says he has more room on the couch. I feel bad but there's not a lot I can do to help it. Since I'm on bed rest I usually sleep in now because it helps pass time and I'm on my side, so double win. Figure I better sleep while I can before she's here!

Clothes: Another side effect of bed rest is less reason to get dressed in presentable clothes. Hence pajamas and house clothes. I try to put on a little makeup to make myself feel better and a little nicer to look at for Andrew. Figure if I'm laying around all beached I should try a little to look semi-attractive while doing it. haha

Cravings/Aversions: I don't get a whole lot of my cravings fulfilled these days since I'm stuck at home, but that's probably for the best. Andrew ran me up to the bank today and I did request a chocolate cake pop from Starbucks, so we stopped, got one for each of us and left. 2 bites in I realized there was wax paper inside of it. So we turn around to exchange it. Bite into the new one while sitting there and there's paper inside it. Bummer! Best guess is the batch was messed up somehow. So they trash the rest of the chocolate cake pops and I got a birthday cake one. Well it just tasted bad, so I never did get my craving fill of cake pop. That's what I get I guess! No aversions to anything really. Cold water is amazing, particularly around 5 am when my bladder needs it the least. But I wake up so thirsty and figure my body needs it so I chug away.

Movement: My body might not agree with pregnancy, but it does not seem to make a difference to this little girl at all. I have to get non-stress tests every week to check Hannah to make sure it isn't putting stress on her and every week the doctor comments on what a happy and active baby she is. Dr. Rod said, "She's always so happy and cheerful, just like her momma." Awww, thanks doc. But she's definitely a mover and shaker. She knows when the monitor is on her or when an ultra sound is going on because she starts moving and kicking the machine. Lots of wiggling, pushing out, tickling and hiccups these days. When she's pushing out I can push back at that spot and she'll pull back, then push out again. Stubborn already or just playful? She is very easy to feel from the outside these days. Last night Andrew and I were kind of cuddled on the couch and his forearm was resting against the side of my stomach. He could feel her kicking from just barely touching me. She's a strong little thing!

Random: She has started responding to the water hitting my stomach in the shower. We don't have a bath tub (2 showers instead) so I'm not sure how she'd act with that, but the warm water hitting my belly gets her going. She's had the hiccups a lot in the last 2 weeks. Guess she's practicing lots of breathing and sucking in there. That's a good thing!! After my baby shower last weekend there were about 8 of us hanging out talking in the living room at my moms so it was kind of loud. Despite it being a time when she usually sleeps the action woke up her. She knew there was a rowdy crowd hanging out and she wanted to be a part of it so she started going crazy. Everyone got a chance to feel some really strong kicks. Kristina held my stomach for about 10 minutes in amazement at how strong and active she was. Also the ultra sound technician is still saying she has lots of hair!

Her immune system started really developing last week and is no longer relying solely on the placenta, so if she comes now she has the basis to protect herself. We are past the point of requiring steroids to develop her lungs for early delivery. At 34 we are really passed the real danger zone for preemies. What a relief!! She would still be considered a preemie until 37 weeks, but she would fair pretty well from here on out. Woohoo!!
 
Baby Size: She's measuring about 5 to 5.5 pounds and approximately 18 inches long. One app said honeydew and one said cantaloupe. Either way, that's an oddly shaped baby!

Just under 3 weeks until we meet our little girl!!!

Pregnancy: 31 Weeks

So we all know by now that I've been diagnosed with gestational hypertension (GH). This stinks, but there's nothing we can do to reverse it. It's stabilized for the time being, so all we can do is keep up a super healthy diet, no stress, limited activity, and hope it holds out for another 9 weeks, 4 weeks minimum. Each day counts, so we're taking things one day at a time. And if you have a stressful story, don't tell me until after Hannah is born. I divert all important or potentially stressful decisions to Andrew.

How far along: 31 weeks

Symptoms: For the first time in probably 5 months my knee pain is lessening! This is huge guys. I have had so much trouble with the ligaments around my knees. I don't know when or what the turning point was, but they have drastically improved over the last few weeks. It gives me hope that I won't have life long knee problems, because that definitely crossed my mind after months of pain that only seemed to worsen. Heartburn/indegestion isn't as frequent, which doesn't really make sense, but I'm not complaining. I only get it occasionally now. Braxton Hicks contractions still occur, but again not too often.

Sleep: I'm having more and more trouble falling asleep at night, and this isn't helped by the fact that my little lady has decided that play time starts once I lie down. It could be for a nap, early bedtime, late bedtime. Doesn't matter. When I get comfortable and try to ease off into la la land, she ramps up the action, and doesn't slow things down for a while. Girl friend may be a night owl like her mommy and daddy. I'm not having as much trouble getting comfortable which is a blessing. I've found a few sweet spots that work well. Turning over in the middle of the night is a joke. It's a process, and not a simple one. It involves inching my body little by little to rotate from one side to the other. When I wake up every 2 hours to use the rest room I make some awesome sound effects getting out of the bed. Sidney usually looks concerned for me haha. I've been propping pillows behind me so I don't wake up on my back as often, and when I do I don't worry about it, just readjust and go (try to go) back to sleep.

Clothes: Skirts that have the high waist that fold down, those are awesome. Except I don't fold them down. I pull them up high, all Erkle-style and it is so comfortable. As soon as I get home I'm in house shorts and a tank top. Hot flashes have set in so even in shorts and tanks it's still too hot.

Cravings/Aversions:  My fountain soda and hash brown cravings have been put to a sudden end. This is sad, but better for myself and Hannah. It has been replaced with cravings for bananas and fudge swirl ice cream (it's low in sodium and a small bowl can't hurt!). I've been drinking more water than ever before in my life, and it's so good.

Movement: Within the last 2 weeks she has really stepped up her game. Some days it's near constant movement. In the last month she has rotated her body 3 times. She's been head down for about a month, but she keeps doing 180s and changing the side her body is on. Last Friday her spine was on the right side, then over the weekend she turned and by Monday her spine was on the left side again. She's supposedly running out of room, but apparently there is still room to turn. Working on her piques maybe? She also jabs, wiggles, spasms, and pushes out at random times. It's like she takes her foot and just presses her little 3 and a half pounds against my stomach. She's stopped responding to ice cream. I guess if you have a little every night they become immune to it? :)

Random: She's a strong, sassy little booger! At our ultra sound last week (because of the GH diagnosis we are getting weekly ultra sounds, which I'm not complaining about!) she was flipping us off. Ok, it could have been her index finger, but it's funnier to think it was her middle finger. You be the judge. We figure if she comes early as expected she'll need that spunk to get her through a NICU stay, so we won't get onto her just yet for her rebellion. The US tech also thinks our girl will have a head full (or maybe just a mullet) of hair! What's your guess, a little blondie or a brunette? Andrew and I both think she'll be blond, but he says because we think that she will automatically be a brunette.

Baby Size: This week she weighs about 3.5 pounds and is about 16 inches long. She's starting to put on some fat, and is approximately the size of a head of lettuce or a coconut. That's one round baby!

This comparison is from 2 weeks ago, the night before my blood pressure skyrocketed. The difference in swelling in my feet and face is very noticeable. And belly looks bigger this week! Sidney is always cute.

Gestational Hypertension

Gestational hypertension, also referred to sometimes as pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) is a condition of high blood pressure during pregnancy.  Gestational hypertension can lead to a serious condition called preeclampsia. Hypertension during pregnancy affects about 6-8% of all pregnant women.   

   --The American Pregnancy Association

The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind. An unexpected one at that. Let's rewind. Andrew and I were planning on taking a babymoon, a mini vacation for just the two of us before baby comes, from Aug 1 - 4 (Friday through Monday). Thursday, July 31, I finished up work, went grocery shopping, got a pedicure and headed home. I had borrowed Nanny's blood pressure monitor after a slightly high reading at my appointment that Wednesday, but was assured it was probably a fluke and we'd be fine. But just in case I was instructed to take the monitor on the trip to keep check on it. When I got home Thursday evening I plugged up the bp monitor and tested it out, to make sure if worked. What do you know? High reading! I don't remember the exact number, but somewhere around 155/95 (140/90 is considered high). I waited about 30 minutes and retook it. Even higher. I think around 165/95. Cue mini freak out. Andrew was working and would be at work until about midnight. I texted my mom and asked her what I should do. Could it be the wrong cuff size? Could the machine be malfunctioning? Could my pressure really be that high? We decided the best and safest option was to go to the fire department down the road from my house to have them check it.

I arrived at the fire station around 8:45, pretty flustered and nervous. The kind men at the station listened to my rambling explanation of why I was there and put the cuff on me. Guy did the reading, had a confused look on his face, inflated the cuff a bit more and said, "Well, it's definitely high." Like 198/120. I was told I needed to go to the hospital immediately. Those numbers are dangerously high. They knew I was alone and asked if I needed a ride, but I assured them I was ok to drive myself. Luckily the hospital I will be delivering at is only about 10 minutes away, less if I need to be there quickly. I thanked the guys, got in my car and headed home to grab a few things since I had no idea how long I would be at the hospital. I got my phone charger, a change of underwear, my glasses and some contact solution. Just the necessities. I called my mom to tell her what they said. Midway through the conversation I lost it. I just started crying. I couldn't reach Andrew, was worried for mine and Hannah's health and was alone. She said she would head to the hospital right away, and I did to.

I arrived at Labor & Delivery at 9:30, checked in and was put in a room with 2 beds for observation and monitoring. They were just getting me hooked up to everything when Andrew returned my 15 calls. I told him something along the lines of, "My blood pressure is really high, I'm in the hospital, the nurse is trying to take my blood pressure, I need to go." I was rocking a sweet hospital gown, a monitor for a Non-Stress Test (NST) to keep an eye on Hannah, a contraction monitor and a blood pressure cuff. They took urine samples, multiple vials of blood, bp readings every 15 minutes. The works. Mom and Kristina arrived shortly after I was situated and helped keep me occupied. Andrew apparently didn't understand the severity of the situation and didn't leave work after we spoke like I thought he had. I guess I was so quick on the phone he thought things were ok. After a late start he finally left work, only to end up getting stuck in the wrong parking deck. Poor guy. Mom bailed him out and he made it to the hospital about midnight. My blood pressure was down, but not enough. Hannah was fine and under no stress. She thought it was a party and showtime because she would not stay under the fetal monitor. She was moving all around and I had to keep readjusting the monitor to keep track of her.

At 12:30 am they gave me a half dose of a blood pressure lowering medicine, labetalol, since my bp had stabalized at a number that was still too high. I had to wait 2 hours after the dosage to see what happened. Finally my pressure got low enough to be released. I think it was about 130/80, something close to that. We got home about 3 am and passed out. I woke up early Friday to schedule an appointment with my OB, and was ready to see her at 9:00 after too little sleep. I let Andrew sleep in since he'd worked a double and sat with me at the hospital. I didn't think the visit would be all that important or bad, so I thought I'd be good on my own. I was mistaken.

After I got in the office and was talking to Dr. Rodriguez I realized how serious this was. She said my body was "heating up" and once it starts it usually progresses pretty quickly. Especially since mine started earlier than usual (apparently she doesn't deal with it until about 35/36 weeks most of the time), I was more at risk for it progressing. There is also a heightened risk for it to turn into pre-eclampsia, which is even more serious. She told me to expect to deliver within the next few weeks. I was 29 weeks and 2 days at that point. She said she would be happy (and surprised) if I made it to 34 weeks. I was sent for a growth ultrasound and ended up waiting almost an hour -- longest hour of my life. I was given instruction to complete a 24 hour urine sample at home, not to move around very much, monitor my pressure every few hours, and if it got over 160/110 to head straight to the hospital. 

I got home and had to tell Andrew all of this news, including what to expect with such a young preemie. We're talking the chance of a 1-2 month NICU stay, risks for cerebal palsy, blindness, and more for her, or stroke and seizure risks for me. Not good stuff. He knew I needed support because he just let me cry. He held me, I cried, we talked about it, and resolved to do the best we could to keep Hannah in utero as long as possible. He looked up foods that lower blood pressure, made a list and headed out to the grocery store. We stocked the pantry and fridge with the healthiest possible foods. While GH is a risk for any first time moms, coupled with my genetic disposition for it (multiple family members have high blood pressure, and mine was borderline high before pregnancy), my diet didn't help either. I have preferred salty foods and sodas over veggies and water. (Although multiple doctors have assured me there was most likely nothing I could have done to prevent this, and my diet did not cause it. But I doubt it helped). Andrew put me on a strict diet and the doctor put me on modified bed rest. No shopping, walking, I could take a shower, walk around the house as needed, but that was it. So we spent our 4 day babymoon at home worried about Hannah and my safety, rather than relaxing in the beautiful mountains of Blue Ridge, GA.

Now let's fast forward. The 24 hour urine sample showed protein in the normal range (236/300, so higher than it should be, but not a real concern just yet), which was great news. In the almost 2 weeks since all of this started I've gone back to work, but still have to take it easy. I check my bp every few hours. I can do short shopping trips, but slowly and calmly. My blood pressure averages about 145/88, give or take. It's a little higher in the mornings then lowers around lunch time. I've actually lost about 4 pounds (mostly water weight I'm assuming) since eating my new clean diet. Coworkers have mentioned that my face looks thinner. I feel better, Hannah is still a raver, and things are going well.

I go to the doctor 2 times per week, and will continue to do so until she's delivered. Once a week I do lab work, growth scan/amniotic fluid check, NST, urine samples, the works. While my blood pressure has been really good considering everything, it could easily spike at any time, or I could start showing protein in my urine which would probably be immediate hospitalization. GH can affect baby's growth or cause damage to my liver and kidneys, so we are being extra cautious and keeping an eye on everything. I told my OB that while I like her, I don't like seeing her twice a week. But we have to know what's going on in my body and with Hannah, so we are going with it. 

I've made it to 31 weeks, which is wonderful. Every day and week I stay pregnant is a huge step for Hannah's development. Someone told me that 1 day of life in a NICU isolette is equivalent to 2-3 days in utero. I'm not sure how exact that is, but it puts into prospective how important each day is for her. The doctor still doesn't think I'll go much past 34 weeks, and I definitely won't make it to full term, but I'm hopeful. If we can keep my blood pressure stable and no protein in my urine, we should be able to keep this up. Babies are considered full term at 37 weeks, so that's my hope, but even 34/35 weeks would be a much better start for our sweet girl. Obviously we don't want her to spend any time in the NICU, but we will deal with whatever happens. Andrew has been amazing throughout all of this. He's been my strength. We have also had so many friends and family offer prayers, support, help and anything we need, which makes us so thankful and humble. We are surrounded by some awesome people. And Hannah has a lot of people here on earth, and her angels, looking out for her. 

While neither Andrew nor I are religious people, we do believe in the power of positive thoughts and prayer. We may not agree on to whom or where those prayers go, but I fully believe they are helping. They are helping my body stay strong, Hannah continue her development, and our sanity stay level. 

Please keep us in your thoughts as we try to make it as long as my body will hold on. 

For now we are holding on strong!

Pregnancy: 29 Weeks & 3D Ultrasound Pictures

We are one week away from the big 3-0 (weeks that is)! I can't believe it's down to 11 weeks. 76 days on my countdown ticker. So crazy. July has flown by. Heck, the entire summer has flown by (now that it's almost over. If you'd asked me mid-June I definitely wouldn't have said that).

Today started off super early with a doctors appointment and our 3/4D ultra sound. We weren't going to do the US since it isn't covered by insurance and is an out of pocket cost, but after seeing the one 3D image we got last time I knew I needed more. More pictures of those squishy cheeks. It should be our last US of the pregnancy, so we tried to soak it in. We got there at 7:30, which is way early for me. Hannah slept through the whole thing because we are not early birds in our house. She usually nuzzles around when I drive to work right before 9, and then wakes up for a stretch around 11. 7:30 is not on her regular schedule. The tech said that was actually a good thing as long as she was turned the right way, meaning she wouldn't be wiggling all over and sticking her hands in her face.

She turned on the US thing, gelled up my belly and there she was! We found out that since our last appointment she's turned head down (yay! No breech baby!), her back is along the left side of my stomach and her hands and feet are on the right, which explains why most movement is on the right side or middle. She had her face turned in just the right direction to get some great pictures. She was also keeping her hand right in front of her face, which is something Andrew does frequently. It's so neat to think that even before being born she can have mannerisms, especially ones that mimic something her Dad does.

So now for the fun stuff!!

Open mouth for a second

Foot on my belly!

Serious face

This one, you can see her shoulder on the bottom, the umbilical cord is over her shoulder, and her hand is by her nose with her thumb under her index finger like she's playing "I got your nose!"

How far along: 29 weeks - 11 weeks left!

Symptoms: Slight heartburn/indegestion, knee pain, feet swelling is becoming more consistent, way less room in my stomach for food. I can only eat about 1/2 of the portion I used to, but I get hungry more frequently. I've started noticing Braxton Hicks contractions, but they're pretty random. It's most obvious if I've been sitting for a while, once I stand up my stomach gets really tight. If I have a full bladder I almost have to hunch over forward b/c it's so tight and uncomfortable.

Sleep: If I'd written this post a couple of days ago it wouldn't have been much different from last time, but as of last night I think sleep problems might be heading my way. I just could not get comfortable last night. I've cut out liquids in the hours before bed so I can now make it about 2 hours without having to pee. But the weight and size of my stomach is increasing and making it much more difficult to get and stay in a good spot. I'm hoping it was a fluke, but I'm not so sure. I have to sleep on my side, but wake up on my back throughout the night. That's kind of a no-no at this point, but I can't control rolling over in my sleep. Maybe since my belly is getting heavier it'll become harder to roll without waking myself up. I know it's hard to reposition when I do it on purpose!

Clothes: Today we had a break from super hot weather and I'm wearing jeans. This sounds silly, but it's only the 3rd time I've worn jeans since about May. It's just been too dang hot! On a more personal side, some of my under garments aren't fitting properly anymore, so things are definitely growing. You know you have to buy new tops and pants for pregnancy, but new undies, I wasn't expecting that one.

Cravings/Aversions: No real aversions at this point. Fried okra is about the best food ever invented. Diet coke from a fountain is still my favorite beverage. I've realized I drink ice cold water much better than cool or room temp water. I keep about six 20 oz water bottles in the fridge and refill and reuse them. I can chug almost an entire bottle when I'm at home. Thirst is intense, especially at night when I'm trying to limit myself. I bought a big thing of vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream that I enjoy a small bowl of each evening. It's so good. Like too good.

Movement: This past weekend I think she was having a growth spurt because things were pretty calm and quiet. She still met the 10 movements in a 2 hour window minimum, but was much calmer than usual. Well that changed on Monday. Mon and Tuesday she was making up for lost time and going crazy. She is a lot stronger than she was even 4 weeks ago. The tech pointed out that she's turned head down and her limbs are on the right so, so that's where I feel most of her movements. She also has a new thing that feels like mini spasms from time to time. They don't last long, but it's a really weird feeling.
  
Random: She's head down, which is good. In some pictures you can see the umbilical cord sitting over her right shoulder. I'm concerned that it may wrap around her neck at some point, but since there's nothing I can do about it I'm trying not to think about it too much. Today when the nurse took my blood pressure she got 160/82, which is way high for me. I think she rushed it b/c when they redid it with a different nurse she got 126/80 which is perfectly in line with what it usually is for me. Fingers crossed it was a fluke and my BP stays good!!

Baby Size:  She is approximately 2 and a half pounds and about 15 inches from head to heel. So length wise she's close to her full size (most babies are about 19-21 inches long). She'll put on a good amount of weight in the next 11 weeks. Apps say she's about the size of a butternut squash. Whatever that looks like. Can't say I'm familiar with that variety of squash lol.

Now for 29 week pictures!

He's a good sport. He let me take this, then immediately requested it not go on facebook. The blog doesn't count, does it?

Next week we will celebrate the last 10 weeks of pregnancy, which is crazy to think about. Gotta make it through this week first though :)

Remembering Dad: 3 Years Later

Today marks 3 years since my dad passed. I think most everyone was shocked and caught off guard, despite years of declining health. I realize now he probably hid quite a bit in regard to his well being, or lack of. I last saw him about 2 months before his death, and while I thought he seemed better, in hindsight he had a sad look to his eye, like he knew something I didn't. He gave me a rock he'd found that was shaped like a heart. Said something along the lines of "I've been saving this for you because you're my heart." I wish I could remember what he said exactly. I was leaving and in a rush to get on the road heading home, and he stopped me right before I got in the car. What I wouldn't give to hold on to that memory a little tighter. To have hugged him a little longer. To have listened more closely.

In the midst of life, it's easy to move too fast, think too quickly, not soak up the details of what's going on around us. This is especially true in this phase of my life. Pregnancy is flying by. Even with blogging and writing on my calendar everyday like my Nanny used to do, details slip away. Conversations become less clear. My memory is generally foggy. I don't remember details very well. Sometimes I don't remember major plot points. I've always been that way. Things just don't stick like they do with some people. That is a large reason for writing this blog, or filling out my calendar. So I can look back and remember the mundane things that happened, along with the big ones. Partially I like to keep out of town family and friends abreast of what's going on in our lives, but mostly I write for myself. To supplement my own memory.

So today I write to remember my dad. To say his life and our relationship was complicated would be the truth. He went through some hard times around the end of my elementary school career, and they really impacted who he became and how he lived the rest of his life. I can't say I understand some of the decisions he made, or how he lived his life. I had a fair amount of trouble accepting things for a long time. It took his passing for me to really see things clearly, and to let go of a lot of frustrations and resentment. I don't mean this to be negative towards him or our relationship, just an honest assessment of how I felt. It makes me sad to admit that I felt closer to him after his passing than I did before. Before his death I had trouble remembering that he was human. He was dealing with hardship and life the best way he knew how, and since it was different from how I would have handled it, I didn't understand it. One of the beauties of life is the ability to be your own person. But this also creates boundaries between people who can't accept who that person is. 

But I understand now.

My dad was a great man. He loved me more than any other man has loved me before. (not to diminish Andrew's love for me in any way, but the way a man loves his daughter is a different kind of love). He supported me and cheered for me and sat through dance recital after dance recital. He tolerated my attitude as a teenager and accepted me for who I was - a moody teenager. He was able to look past my negatives, because I guess as a parent, that's what you do. He saw me with rose-tinted glasses, even in my darkest of times.

He passed along many lessons and qualities, and made me who I am, some from direct instruction, and some indirectly. My love of painting, caring for animals, knack for giving all people and creatures countless nicknames, my resilience, take-charge attitude and 'no bull accepted' view on life. He also helped teach me to be fun and carefree, to dig up the garden and plant new seeds. He sadly failed at making me very athletic or good at softball, but I won't count that one against him. He tried.

I hate that he missed my wedding, and that he won't be here to enjoy Hannah. He loved kids so much and mentioned on multiple occasions that grandchildren were on the top of his 'want' list. He didn't get to meet the amazing man that puts up with me, and sees me with those same rose-tinted glasses that he wore. He was never really crazy about any guy I brought home. No one was ever good enough for his daughter, but I know he would approve of Andrew.

The day of his funeral was tough. It's one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. But at the end of the service, when family went back to my aunt's house to visit and remember my dad, I looked out over the field and saw a rainbow. One of those signs when I needed it most.

He's with me. He sees the happiness Andrew brings out in me. He will watch Hannah grow up. 

Love you Dad,

Mickel

Pregnancy: 26 Weeks

We are one week away from the third trimester. Holy cow! I can't believe she will be here in 14 short weeks. If the remaining time passes anywhere as quickly as the first 7 months did then I'll never be ready in time! I just checked my handy dandy baby count down and it's in double digits.

95 days remaining, guys. Wow!

Wednesday I had an OB appointment to do my gestational diabetes test, an ultra sound to check how she's growing, and the regular consult. I got to experience the joy (hah-not) of the glucose test. This lovely drink was like Sunkist with triple the sugar. Downside is I hate orange flavored drinks. So gross. It has to be finished within 5 minutes, so I manned up and chugged it like I was in a beer drinking contest. Yuck.

An hour later I was getting 2 vials of blood drawn. Normally I don't mind blood draws, but for some reason this one hurt. It was painful while she was doing it, then it stung for an hour after she was finished. I should have found out today if I passed, but no word yet. Hopefully no news is good news. If I failed I have to do the dreaded 3 hour test. Horror stories. That's all I've heard of it. Fasting. Multiple blood draws. Faintness. Nausea. Bad things. Fingers crossed I passed.

After the glucose test we hopped over to the ultra sound room to get a quick look at Hannah to see how she's growing and make sure my amniotic fluid is at the correct levels. Ms. Tech said she's measuring about 5 days smaller than 26 weeks, but this is totally normal. Apparently anywhere from a 2-3 week difference is fine and dandy. All babies grow differently so they give a little wiggle room in the growth window. She's estimated to be a solid 2.2 pounds. Woohoo! Oh, and if you care, my amniotic fluid is just fine. Normal and normal. Thank goodness.

The tech measured her head, belly, femur, the big ticket items that are apparently good to measure during a growth scan. But she also let us watch for a few minutes and we got a couple of neat shots. She even switched over to 3D and gave us a semi-clear face shot of little lady. Prepare yourselves for sweetness overload.

 

Look at those chubby cheeks! And the little round nose? Looks a lot like mine. I was certain she'd have Andrew's nose after the last US, but this one looks pretty close to mine from what I can tell. Andrew thinks 3d pictures are pretty creepy, and I guess they kind of are, but getting to see what she looks like is amazing. Even if it isn't clear, I have a loose idea of what she looks like and she's not due for another 14 weeks! Amazing I tell you.

She also asked for no paparazzi photos to be taken. Or she was practicing ballet hands. Either way, she had her hands up by her face. It's so cool you can even see her fingers! Technology is something else.

How far along: 26 weeks

Symptoms: Knee pain, hormones have been a little less stable the last few days, but overall I haven't been a hot mess like I was expecting. I've got the linea negra under my belly button, no stretch marks [yet]. Happy to say pregnancy brain hasn't been as bad lately. I'm starting to be a little more tired. Next week marks the 3rd trimester, so I won't be surprised if the exhaustion returns.

Sleep: Insomnia/trouble falling asleep seems to be returning. I've started cutting out liquids about an hour before bedtime and removing all water bottles from the bedroom so I can't chug water in the middle of the night. This makes me able to go about 3 hours between bathroom breaks, which is huge! I'm needing more pillows and more space, so Andrew sleeps on the couch half of the time. Says he has more room there than in bed. Sorry buddy. 

Clothes: Summer maternity wear. It's the only option. Full belly band shorts and skirts at that. Comfort is key!

Cravings/Aversions: Soda, cold water, hashbrowns, salty stuff, Wendy's frosties. On occasion I request that Andrew bring home a piece of cheesecake. Happy to say I can now eat grilled chicken again. I don't care for it as much as I used to, but it's not a major aversion anymore

Movement: Girl friend is getting strong!! If I play music through my phone and put it up to my stomach she'll start moving about 50% of the time. When she does they are strong kicks and full belly moves. She's been getting a little higher in my stomach and something (hands maybe?) are under my ribs on the right side just under my boob. Awkward feeling. She still does a little dance on my bladder. She moves much more frequently now, but is still sticking to her pattern of reliable times.

Random: At the appointment this week when we saw her the tech said she's breech with her head under my left breast and feet down in my belly (hello bladder!). That explains why I feel most kicks and punches on the right side I guess.

Baby Size: I'm almost ready to give up on this. The app says she's the size of a head of lettuce, but at 2.2 pounds and about 9 inches (i think) that doesn't sound right. I do know she'll go through a growth spurt between now and 32 weeks and almost double in size. Growing girl!

June Showers

I for one and glad to see the month of June completed and gone. It was kind of a rough month for me. I try to stay positive and not be one to complain, but multiple events coupled with pregnancy hormones, heat and a rough morning were more than I could take. The last day of June was the straw that broke the camels back. Thankfully the month has passed and hopefully taken the deluge of bad luck with it.

Of course I understand things can always be worse. I have a wonderful life and am very thankful for everyone and everything in it. But that doesn't mean I can't recognize hardships. I figure the hard times make us appreciate the good ones, so that's what I'll be doing in July. Recognizing all the great in my life! To wrap up June, I'd like to jot down a few things to remember that hard seasons do come.

 My great grandmother, Memo, passed away on June 10. This wonderful woman lived to be 100 years old, and celebrated life with humor and passion like very few others. She was truly one of a kind. I'm thankful we got to see her in January for her 100th birthday party. She was in good spirits and to be 100, pretty good health if you ask me. A pretty bird until the end.

My great uncle Putt passed away a few days later, June 17th I believe. He was one of the most honest and hard working men I've ever known. I am particularly grateful to him for the care and understanding he showed my dad when he was going through dark days. When many other family members either could not or would not be there for my father, Uncle Putt was. He never gave up on him and for that I am eternally grateful.

 

My dear sweet Nanny had a massive heart attack in March and has been having complications with Congestive Heart Failure since then. These came to a head last week, so Mom and myself took her to the doctor who immediately had her admitted to UAB. After a few hours she was moved to the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit where she's been for the last 4 days. There is a very delicate dance going on of trying to get her stable and medicines figured out. They'll change something seemingly minor that sends everything else into a tail spin. She is toughing it out while they try to get her fixed up. There aren't words for how much she means to me, so seeing her go through this is very very hard.

 

This pretty face was feeling pretty crappy in June as well. She somehow managed to sprain her back, get a yeast infection in her foot pads, internal parasites, fleas, skin allergies. You name it she probably had it. Way to make me feel like a Mommy failure Sid! She went from fine to yelping at the touch in a matter of days. When we got her to the vet and was read a laundry list of problems, I felt awful that it had all gone unnoticed for who knows how long. Countless pills, visits and hundreds and hundreds of dollars later, she's like a a spring chicken again. We are very glad she's feeling better, but boy did it hurt my wallet. Andrew assures me she's worth it though. ;)

This old girl also put a hurting on me this month. There'd been a crack in the windshield for over a year, but it wasn't in the way of my line of sight and I let it be. On the way to do a girls dinner a week or so ago a rock popped up on 459 and added another crack to the windshield, directly below the existing one. Well I didn't want the two to merge and make friends, leaving my windshield unstable, so I bit the bullet to have it replaced. Not even a week later the battery went out and had to be replaced. I'm concerned the transmission has some issues but it's still under warranty. I've put off having a crack in the exhaust looked at, but it will have to be dealt with sooner or later.

All in all, it could always be worse. But the hits to the heart and wallet still sting. I mean it's not like we're trying to save up for any other large expenses in our future or anything. Nah, I didn't need to put money towards a car seat or anything. /sigh. 

June has come and gone and all I can do is hope that the hardships go with it!!