Balance

Finding balance in life is often one of the hardest things to do. This can relate to need vs wants, work vs play, cake vs vegetables, etc. etc. The days pass so quickly that it really takes effort and a lot of hard work to find a semblance of balance, and to be honest, that is something we are struggling with lately.

I work two jobs and Andrew works all the time. Our schedules are carefully crafted to make sure someone is home with Hannah while still allowing us to basically work around the clock. I'm sad to say that with our current set up, Andrew and I see each other about 2 nights a week, with one of those being his kickball nights, so it's cut short. It's unfortunate that during this fun phase of life, we seldom get to have fun as a whole family. It's one of those tricky balancing acts, working enough to pay the bills versus making sure we are able to spend quality time as a family. This is our hardest balance and most painful concession to make sure we are able to stay above water. It's not easy.

Lately I've had trouble maintaining motivation to continue moving forward in my weight loss journey. It's mostly a battle of will power and self control. Something that seems should be easy can be so difficult. I admittedly have poor self control -- it's how I became over weight in the first place. I finally hit my pre-pregnancy weight about a month ago, but have self-sabotaged and regained a couple of pounds. I know I can do it, I'm down almost 20 pounds to prove it, but I'm too good at reasoning to myself, "it's the first date night we've had in weeks, have dessert." "You only see Mumford and Sons in concert every few years, eat the queso at dinner and drink beer at the show." "I'm down 17 pounds, I deserve this cookie!" Balancing the want to celebrate with the ability to continue being successful. It's hard.

As Hannah gets older (more sassy), bigger (able to climb on more things), and smarter (able to climb on more things and sassy), we are hitting a more complicated stage of discipline. She's not quite ready for time out, and laughs at whatever you say to her if trying to make her stop doing something. She thinks it's fun and highly giggle worthy to run across the couch while almost falling off. I can't keep her off of it, she doesn't care/understand/listen when I tell her why it's a horrible idea. She's bound to injure herself, I don't know what to do and she keeps on doing it. Balancing my frustration with concern, her fun with her safety, all of it with my sanity. It's challenging.

At the end of the day, we do the best we can. We balance what we can and some days the needs have to come before the wants. The need to work an extra shift vs the want to relax. The need to not buy the morning coffee vs the want to indulge. The need to put down the dessert vs the 'hello, we love cookies!' It's all a work in progress and I'm thankful that I have a wonderful husband and family to help me balance this crazy juggling act we call life! (but if you see me with a cookie, don't say anything, just give me the side eye).

Hannah: 18 Months

24 pounds

31.50 inches tall

I haven't done a Baby update since Hannah turned 1, so this one is long past due! This big ole girl blows us away every day with her cuteness, sweetness, intelligence and sass. She's just the most perfect little girl we could have asked for and we thank our lucky stars every day that we were blessed with her little life. Now enough mushy stuff, how about some updates?!

Size: This little chickadee weighed in at 24 pounds and almost 32 inches tall. She's in the 40th percentile for height and 60th for weight. I think about half of that weight is in her belly. Girl friend rocks one of the best Buddha bellies I've ever seen! It's the funniest thing. I think she's gone through a height growth spurt lately because she's starting to flood a little bit in some pants that were previously too long. She's still a shorty like Mama, bless her short little legs! Not only are the pants getting short, but her belly hangs out the bottom of some of her t-shirts. Andrew has taken to calling her Rachel when her belly hangs out (Rachel from Friends, when she was pregnant she continued wearing her old t-shirts and rocked the underbelly lol).

Clothes: Hannah is currently on the cusp of 18 month and 24 month clothes. The 18 months are getting a little tight around the shoulders and are harder to get on and off, but the 24 month stuff is still a little too long for her. She'll probably always be built like me where getting things to fit her girth makes them too long in length. 

Vocabulary: Big girl currently has about 20 words, some more clear than others. We keep a running list on a dry erase board to track her vocabulary development. Her first word was baby (still a favorite), but her favorite words are shoes, cheese, uh oh, what's that, Mommy, Daddy and Stella. A funny thing, her words for shoes, cheese and juice all sound almost identical. Shoes is the cutest and sounds like "chew-ssss" in the sweetest voice.

She also has one word in Spanish: hola. Neither Andrew nor myself are fluent in Spanish but we both speak varying amounts. My hope is for Hannah to love the language and have the appreciation for it that I do, so we speak to her in Spanish a fair amount. So far she enjoys saying hola to people, particularly while we're grocery shopping. haha

Food: Hannah loves to eat. She does 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. She loves fresh fruit and most vegetables. Her favorites are: broccoli, tomatoes, pears, blueberries, green beans, yogurt, cereal, french fries (she is still a kid and human!), chicken with marinades like lemon pepper, catalina, teriyaki (sometimes). She does not like macaroni and cheese, many pastas (she's particular about noodles), carrots, potatoes a lot of breads. I guess she's not a carb eater. Wonder where she got that from!?

Drink: We weaned Hannah off bottles and the little bit of formula she was still taking around 17 months. We'd planned on weaning her sooner but she kept getting sick and the bottle was her main comfort. Finally we bit the bullet and expected it to be a long weekend, but she did great! We had one last bedtime bottle on a Friday night, then when she woke Saturday morning bottles were no longer a thing. She only asked a few times but was satisfied with her sippy cup of milk. Hooray!

We do about 3 cups of milk a day, plus ice water (water without ice just isn't good enough I guess), and fresh made juices. She doesn't get bottled juices, so when I make a juice for myself I pour some over ice in her sippy and add a splash of water. I don't dilute her juices very much since they are fresh and she only drinks an ounce or two anyway.

Sleep: Hannah wakes up around 7:30 or 8 each morning and usually plays happily in her crib for about 20-30 minutes before she starts fussing. Once she starts that we go in and get her up. She takes 1 nap around 11:30, which usually lasts about an hour and a half, sometimes 2 hours. She has pretty much cut out her second nap, but she can't quite make it to dinner happily without it yet so we do "quiet time" where we lay her down just like any other nap, but she doesn't sleep. She lays down, tosses and turns, sits in her crib sucking her thumb for about 45 minutes to an hour. Sometimes she'll take a 10-15 minute power nap, but usually she just lounges. Honestly I'm surprised she doesn't pitch a fit every day, but the quiet time lets her decompress and calm down enough to be mostly renewed and happy when she gets up. Then she goes to bed between 7 and 7:30. I didn't think I'd ever put her down that early, but when she cut out the second nap she naturally moved her bedtime up and it seems to be working. Surprisingly Daylight Savings Time hasn't affected her sleep very much. It's very strange putting her down when the sun is still up, though.

Skills: I'm not exactly sure what skills she should have now, but she seems pretty perfect to us so I guess she's on track? She walks, runs, climbs, jumps (very awkwardly!). She hasn't figured out silverware yet and can't always get the right shape into the right hole in the sorting toys, but she tries (until she gets frustrated and throws it...can we say like Daddy?!). If you ask her to go fetch you an item she is familiar with she most always complies (especially if it's her beloved shoes!). She understands "close and open," "on and off," "Yes and no" (although she doesn't always obey. She knows what Sit down means, but definitely doesn't always listen to that. She's a work in progress but doing better when it comes to gentle pets for the cats. She still grabs fur if they linger too close.

Favorites: She still loves talking about Stella, shoes, purses, jumping in her crib when she wakes up, calling Mommy & Daddy, visiting Grandma and backpacking through the neighborhood, zoo trips, walking at the park and playing on the swing. She loves standing on our back porch and "helping" throw sticks, acorn hulls or leaves over the edge. Any baby we see she has to point out and yell "Baby!"

School: Baby is a pro at Mother's Day Out and attends 5 days a week from 9-2. Every day when I pick her up and ask how her day was the teachers say, "Awesome, like always!" Teacher reports say she's one of the most social and easy going kids. She likes to pick up lovies and pacis from the floor to return to their rightful owner, she always helps make the new kids feel welcome and rarely has a bad day. She really is the sweetest! Just recently she's stopped running to me when I walk in the door. Now she wants to come say a quick hello, then go back to playing until I make her leave. Glad she loves school so much!

Sickness/Health: Girl friend got tubes in her ears in January and they've made a huge difference! She's had a few bugs over the winter and can't seem to stay well, but I'm hopeful once the cold season passes she'll be better! She keeps a cold and runny nose like nobodies business. We are currently trying to fend off some congestion and get her back to 100%.

Our girl is sweet, smart, sassy, playful, affectionate, loves to give big, sloppy open-mouth kisses and is generally the best baby I could have ever asked for. It's such a joy to watch her grow and learn and develop new words, tricks and skills. Each day is more and more fun with the new things she's learning. I love the age she's at now, but love watching her grow and learn even more! Love you Baby!!

Healthy Eating - 2.5 Months In

On January 1, 2016, I decided to make some dietary changes to improve the quality of my life for both short and long term results. I didn't look at it as a New Year's resolution or a diet to follow until I lost XX about of pounds. I went in looking at it from the perspective of health and an example for my daughter. After a couple of days in Andrew realized I was being serious this time and not just looking to cut calories for a week only to fall back to old habits yet again. He decided to join this journey and lifestyle change and let me tell you, having a partner and someone with similar goals makes it SO much easier and more enjoyable. It also helps since he makes almost all of our home-cooked meals :) While Andrew and I have similar big picture goals, our methods and reasons are slightly different so I won't speak for him in this piece.

We are now 60+ days into the "New Year, New Me" campaign and things are going great. We've stuck to long enough to become mostly habit. I was juicing (making fresh juices at home) twice a day, but produce is quite costly so we've dialed that back. I try to have one juice a day but lately it's been more of every other day. We both use My Fitness Pal and log our calorie intake, which is the main tool that has helped us be successful. I've also stopped drinking sodas, which was huge for me. I was a 2-3 diet cokes a day kind of girl, now I only have soda when I'm drinking my bourbon and coke, and that isn't very often. Maybe once every week or two. I could do better at drinking more water, but I'm still a work in progress.

Because I was smart and married a wonderful cook, we've been able to eat healthy meals when we are home together (which sadly isn't often enough). We've replaced pasta with spinach, bread with smaller portions of rice, and tried to work in healthy choices in all of our meals. Because we most always have fresh produce for our juices, we also have fruit around for healthy snacks.

I'm proud to say that Hannah is a big fan of most healthy foods, and even prefers fresh produce over processed foods that most toddlers love. Her favorite foods right now are steamed broccoli, pears, tangerines, blueberries, green beans. She won't even touch macaroni and cheese (say what?!). Not to say she eats perfectly or doesn't like cookies and crackers, but she truly does love fruits and veggies. Go Baby!!

With all of these lifestyle changes we have both seen big success in our weight loss goals. I'm down 15 pounds, but still have plenty to go to get to a more ideal healthy weight. Andrew has lost even more (I'm not certain of the exact number). What is it with guys having an easier time?! But he has worked hard for it, so I'm proud of us both! Stay tuned to see how far we can take this journey!

This House, Part 2

Shortly before Hannah's first birthday Andrew and I had been talking about finding a larger house for our family. Hannah was crawling all over and we were bursting at the seems with stuff. I am not a hoarder. I go through most of our belongings at least once or twice a year to purge things we don't use regularly or have little use of in the future. I donate clothes and household items fairly regularly. Even so we had closets filled top to bottom, things stored under beds, just everywhere. Hannah is a small person but she has a lot of stuff!! We (probably) want another child down the road so we can't get rid of all her baby gear, but it takes up a lot of space. After packing up her beloved jumperoo and realizing I had no where to put it away we decided it was time to find a larger house.

I spoke to Paula who decided she would sell the trailer instead of renting it out again. We started looking for rental houses and she started looking for a buyer. (We don't know if we will stay in Alabama long term, so we are not ready to commit to buying a house here. Hence the rental).

I mentioned to Jan, my dance teacher, friend and step-sisters' mother, that we were looking for a rental at this price point and wanted to move in at the end of October. She said she'd keep her eyes open for us. Literally the next day her neighbor and good friend, Jolynn, mentioned that they would be doing some traveling and wanted to rent out the main floor of their 2 level house. It happened to be exactly the budget we were looking for and open at the exact same time we wanted to move in. Fate brought us together with Rick & Jolynn and this house. 

We waited excitedly for 2 months when suddenly the trailer sold sooner than expected, the buyers wanted in and asked if we were able to move out 2 weeks before we'd planned! Our new landlords were fantastic and worked their butts off to finish their portion of the move faster than anticipated and worked up to the literal last hour. We're thankful to them and can already tell we've lucked out once again with awesome landlords!

We've been in this house 2 weeks as of today and it is awesome. We have gotten most everything unpacked and put away. We hung our art and pictures, put our clothes in the closet. This house is becoming our home. 

 Hannah has found a quick exit strategy from each room, learned the loop that goes around the kitchen, dining room and den. She knows the door stopper behind her bed room door makes a funny noise and wiggles every time she touches it. This house has already made us happy. 

We are filling the rooms with our memories and our hopes for the future. This house will see our daughter walk, our love grow deeper and hopefully many, many moments of laughter and happiness.

 

Our wedding letters/guest book hung over centerpieces Andrew & I made for the wedding <3

We now live next door to my sister Ashland and our niece, Harlee. Jan and Michael Jay live next door to lend a hand, give a hug or share a cup of coffee. This house is situated at the end of a cul de sac where we can watch Hannah ride in her cozy coupe car and run around with her cousin.

Our very own custom art in 3D chalk by neighbor and artist Janis Sherwood!

This house has the exact kitchen Andrew and I have dreamed about cooking in, preparing food to nourish our bellies and our souls.

A dining room to act as my office, but also help host family meals. A sun room to sit and visit, talk and laugh.

Loving the closet space in Hannah's room!!

Hannah's original piece by JJ and MJ

This was the first thing I made for her room when I found out I was pregnant and we had a name chosen!

We haven't finished our room yet. Those pieces on the wall will move to over the bed

Guest room / holding space for unfinished/unpacked stuff

The first piece of art or furniture I bought for the trailer when I first moved in has found it's way to the new house

This house is just what we wanted, more than we needed and so full of potential and joy.

This House, Part 1

At the end of 2011 I was looking for a new home to be my fresh start after the end of a relationship. I wanted something affordable, safe and homey and with a yard for my dog to serve as my first house that didn't include a roommate. A good friend of mine's mother owned a nice piece of land with a trailer that she sometimes rented out, so I called him and jokingly mentioned that I would love it if his mom would let me rent the trailer. I figured it was a long shot but worth asking. He checked with her and the stars had aligned, her previous tenants had recently left and she was having some work done on the place but it could be mine if I wanted. It was available for me and I moved in on approximately January 4, 2012.

I brought my pets, the furniture I had, used some old stuff that had been left behind and bought 1 piece of art. It was a shadow box from Target that says "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself." This was fitting given the season of life I was in. Andrew and friends helped me move in and it became home. Over time I never bought any more art, I only hung photos of us or things that I've painted myself. It truly is my house. It isn't the most picturesque or matching decor, but I put a lot of effort and love into every piece of refinished furniture or painting on the wall.

 A few months later Andrew and I had started dating and he was spending more and more time at the little pink trailer in the woods. He officially moved in in mid 2012 and we made it our home. Over the years a kitten adopted us, our dog Sidney ran after tennis balls in the yard, we painted furniture on the back deck, read books in the sun room, changed a guest room into a nursery. We've watched the leaves fall and the grass regrow many times now, and this house has been good to us.

Our relationship grew from friendship to a deep love while we lived here.
We celebrated our engagement, newly married life and pregnancy here.
We welcomed home our first child during our years here.
We watched our daughter crawl and laugh and talk while we grew here.

This house became our home. 

But there were also hard times.
We said goodbye to our beloved dog while we lived here.
We grieved the loss of multiple family members during our years here.
We experienced a difficult pregnancy and hard recovery here.
We work too much and often miss spending enough time together, but we still grow here.

This house is still our home. 

Our landlord, who was once 'Zach's Mom', became Paula, our friend. She watched our family grow and helped us along the way. We will forever be grateful to her for her generosity and kindness.

Our family outgrew this house, and now it's time to make a new home. We are excited for the new adventure and extra space, but it's hard to beat the quiet that comes with the beautiful plot of land. I'll miss watching the hawk that lives on the left side of the yard and the momma deer and her twin doe that crunch the grass along the back treeline. I won't hear the squirrels that rule the entire property and like to run along the top of the sun room when the weather is nice. 

This house will always be where our family grew and our love flourished.