Her Birth Story

I better get this in writing before any of the details slip away. This will be detailed. 

When my memory fails I want to be able to look back and remember.

On Tuesday, Sept 9, 2014 I had one of my routine, twice weekly prenatal appointments. I went in knowing my blood pressure had steadily been creeping up. My doctor said she was becoming less comfortable with me continuing the pregnancy. I was at risk and as we would be 35 weeks the next day, Hannah should have reached a point in gestation where most risks would be behind us. I told Dr. Rodriguez that if we were going to call it and be done I was ok with it. It had been almost 6 weeks since my hypertension problems started. We had gone farther than most people, including my doctor and myself, thought was possible. If it was time to graduate from pregnant to motherhood, I was at peace. I knew I would never make it to 40 weeks, but I was satisfied with 35.

The decision was made, I was instructed to head to the hospital, but given the ok to go home to get my final things together and wait for Andrew to get off work. A few hours later he got home, we loaded up the car, and headed to Shelby Baptist Hospital in Alabaster. We were assigned to room 10 in the back corner of the U shaped L&D unit, which we came to love because it was a quiet spot on the super busy unit. We settled in around 5:00 pm, met our nurse, Cathy, who is actually my friend Michele's step mother. We had a built in friend and person looking out for us which was great. Once we were in they started an iv for fluids, drew blood for lab work, fetal and contraction monitors were attached to my belly, blood pressure cuff on my arm and filled us in on what to expect.

Because my blood pressure was high (averaging about 160/105) I would be started on magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures. I would get a large initial dose called the "loading dose," then be on a continuous "maintenance dose" for a minimum of 24 hours after delivery. Because I was being started on the 'mag' I would have blood work done every 6 hours to make sure I wasn't getting too much. Magnesium can have a lot of side effects, and they are all pretty awful. During the loading dose I felt like I was on fire. I would feel a heat wave started at the base of my neck and travel down my body stopping at my butt. This continued for the duration of the loading dose, probably about 15 minutes. Because I felt like I was burning up I was shedding covers and still uncomfortable. Once the initial dose was administered and I was on the maintenance drip I thought, 'hey, this isn't too bad.' That would change quickly. One thing about magnesium is that it builds in your system. The more you have, the more you'll begin to feel the effects.

In order to get my body ready for labor since it was not prepared at 35 weeks, I was given Citotec, a cervix ripener, 3 times with each dose 4 hours apart. The first dose went in about 6 pm Tuesday, and by 6:00 Wednesday morning it was time to start Pitocin. Part of starting pitocin was being cut off from food and anything more than ice chips starting at midnight. They start Pit on the lowest dose (I think it was 2) and slowly increase it to the max dose, 30, depending on how your body and baby respond.

After being on magnesium for so long I was in what I've heard termed 'mag drag.' I had to have a catheter because I was a fall risk and no longer allowed to walk. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I could barely carry on a conversation. I fluctuated between burning up and freezing cold. I looked and felt like a heroin addict going through the nods. My mom and sister came to visit and I apologized and had Andrew explain that I could have about half of a conversation, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Doctors and nurses would come in to check on me or explain something and I probably looked like I was totally unable to make an informed decision. In part this was true. Andrew was pretty much in charge and my go-to. I often pointed to him and asked him to speak for me. I have to say the worst part, by far, of my entire labor experience was being on magnesium. It was a game changer.

Dr. Rodriguez came to check my progress around 5:30 pm on Wed, 9/10 and said if I had progressed to even 3 or 4 cm we would continue forward and try for a vaginal delivery. I told her I hoped I hadn't made progress because I knew that I did not have it in me to attempt a vaginal birth. I was worn down both physically and mentally. And it's not like I'd been pushing for hours, but I was drained. She checked me and I had done aboslutely nothing. I was barely 1 cm. The magnesium is a fine muscle relaxer, given to relax the brain and prevent seizures (it's also given to prevent or stall preterm labor) and it had been cancelling out the pitocin I was being given to begin labor. My nurse said we could do this all night long and likely see no increase in dilation. It was like banging our heads against the wall and expecting a different result. With the news that my body was not moving foward, the decision to do a c-section was made.

From the time my doctor said c-section to the time I was on the operating table was less than an hour. Things went into hyper drive. A nurse anesthetist came in to explain everything involved with the spinal block procedure and to have me sign paperwork. Andrew was handed scrubs, I was taken off all of my wires and attachments and they started wheeling my bed out of the room. That ride was so surreal. I was so out of it, it was happening so fast, and I didn't fully know what was about to happen. I didn't really understand we were about to meet Hannah. Andrew was left out in the hall while they prepped me for surgery. I was wheeled into a brightly lit room that was much smaller than I would have expected. The sun was shining through a window high on the wall. "A beautiful day to have a baby," someone said. I had to transfer myself from my bed to the operating table. I thought they were joking. I hadn't moved from my bed in 24 hours. And now I had to scoot my dead-weight body one foot to the right. It seemed a monumental task. At this point I started asking where my husband was. He was still waiting in the hallway. Thankfully I managed to transfer to the table and was then instructed to hunch forward to receive the spinal block. This is similar to an epidural, except instead of a catheter being inserted and delivering continuous medicine in the lower back this is one shot of super powerful medicine that lasts about an hour to an hour and a half. It also numbs from breast down instead of waist down. They found the right spot, administered the shot and then laid me down rapidly. Pretty much immediately I felt a wave of heat come over my legs, then numbness, then nothing. It's like they were no longer there. My arms were laid out on either side of me and lightly taped down so I couldn't grab the blue curtain or sabotage surgery halfway through. Once I was numb and in place they let Andrew in.

I was prepped and ready. It was go time. I'd been warned in my groggy state that I would feel like I couldn't breath since my chest was pretty much paralyzed. They were right. I couldn't breath. Except I could. I was mentally telling myself, 'you're ok. you can breath.' They had an oxygen mask on me and I laid there, so out of it. Andrew was on my left side holding my hand and rubbing my palms. I was so tired I couldn't even rub his hand back. The anesthetist talked constantly, keeping light hearted banter going to calm Andrew and myself. He would have me squeeze his hand every now and then to make sure I could. My blood pressure was checked every 2 minutes or so. A few times I felt like I was going to throw up because of a blood pressure drop. They were giving me medicine for it and monitoring me so closely they knew I felt sick before I did.The incision was made and they told us it was almost time.

"Lots of pressure." Then crying. Lots of crying. I heard Hannah make her debut at 6:24 pm on September 10, 2014 with forceful cries. They called Andrew over to see her. I laid there listening to my baby and felt tears streaming down my cheeks. Through the haze of magnesium I could hear her. She was here. And she sounded healthy. Just replaying the sound now makes me cry again. They brought her over to me and let me look for about a minute and give her a kiss. She was beautiful. She was all bundled up and smooshed and so sweet. I have to admit the sound of her crying and that emotion sticks with me more than seeing her. I don't know why, probably thanks to the magnesium, but hearing her was more real than seeing her.

Andrew was able to take a couple of pictures of her and follow the nurses down to the NICU. Because she was a preemie the nicu nurses were on hand and ready for her. Off they went and I remained on the table, open, feeling like I couldn't breath and needing to throw up. I tried to throw up multiple times. But when your abdomen is paralyzed, you can't really vomit. My throat tried and I ended up just doing ridiculous motions that probably looked like a frog trying to catch a fly. They stitched me up, assured me the scar would be beautiful and barely noticeable and that I would be in a bikini in no time. Luckily I was not responsible for transferring back into the bed! I was put in bed, wrapped up and wheeled back into my room. My mom and Kristina were in the room when I got there, but I don't remember if I beat Andrew or if he was already there. We had decided no matter what he would stay with Hannah during her transition to the NICU. By then the magnesium had started to let up so I got about an hour of a semi-clear head. I had the shakes and was shivering uncontrollably and it felt really weird to not feel my lower body, but I'd take that over the mag.

She was here. I couldn't see her yet though. She was admitted to the NICU and I was left in my room to recover, be rehooked to the magnesium drip, and heal. Andrew, my mom and Kristina went down to peak at her in the NICU and assured me she was beautiful, brought back pictures and bits of information. Her lungs were underdeveloped, but her size was good. 18 inches and 6 lb 5 oz. That weight for a 35 week baby is big! I'd be scared to know what her full term weight would have been. It would be a few hours before we got a real update on her health from the nurse practitioner for the NICU.

I stayed in the hospital for another 4 days, allowing myself to heal and be as close to Hannah as possible. Her NICU stay is an entire other post, for another day. My birth experience isn't what I was expecting, but it brought me Hannah. The c-section wasn't bad and recovery has really been fairly easy. The magnesium was the only real negative to the birthing aspect (not counting NICU issues). But we are 2 weeks in with a healthy baby and how she got here just isn't as important as her being here with me as I type this. She was not concerned with blog posts.