Valentine's Day 2015/Thoughts on Love

With Valentine's Day fresh in the review mirror, I wanted to jot down some thoughts I've had on the subject of love. Andrew and I have worked in restaurants for many years, so we never get to celebrate the day of love on the actual day. Instead, one (or both of us) work our butts off while the masses enjoy eating out on V-Day. This year Andrew worked in the evening and I was off (no baby sitter means no work, even though the money would have been great). After a relaxing morning we ran some errands together and did a lunch trip to Moe's. We went into the yard to take some family pictures to commemorate Hannah's first Valentine's Day. The individual shots turned out great, but we are pretty new to using the self timer for group shots and they weren't quite in focus.

On the deeper level of the love subject, I want to discuss these two. My heart. The best two loves I have experienced have both been a slow building kind of love. (not counting you Mom!)

Andrew and I were friends for years before we started dating and fell in love. We grew together as friends first, and it added such a deep level to our relationship. We love each other so much, but at the end of the day what makes our relationship work so well is that we are friends, above everything else.

With Hannah, my love is a little more complicated to explain. When I was pregnant I fell in love with the idea of her. I didn't really know her yet. During labor the body releases hormones that create a deep, overwhelming love (most of the time). I did not feel that 'love hormone.' I don't know if it's due to the induction, c-section,  magnesium, or some other factor, but I didn't experience that rush of love that I've heard so many new mothers talk about. At first I felt guilty. Of course I cared for Hannah deeply, but I didn't feel in love with her yet. Was there something wrong with me? Why didn't I have this crazy love feeling I kept hearing about?! After a little googling and reading I realized that some women don't feel that powerful love right away, and that's ok! I began to really love Hannah as I got to know her, spent time with her, stared into her eyes, watched her sleep, heard her need for me. I would have walked the earth for her then because she's my daughter, but now I would walk the earth for her because I love her so much.

Even writing it all out I wonder how it sounds to other people, and wonder if I'll be criticized or misunderstood. If you feel that way, then oh well I guess because I can't [won't] justify myself to you any further, but a party of me worries how it sounds. But I like my love story. I have two people that I care for so much, that I grew to love, in my own time. My heart continues to expand with affection as our lives unfold. Each person has their own journey and love story, but this is mine.

I love you guys!!